‘Celebrate’ isn’t the first word that comes to mind when you are facing the prospect of Christmas in the middle of splitting up. It’s a tough time of year when you’re going through a divorce but there are a few small wins to be had that can make the festive season that bit more bearable. Let’s share those with you…
Arrange to spend time with friends
Friends are the ones who stick around for heartache and the good times. If you’re feeling stressed and drained as a result of your divorce proceedings, plan time to get together with your friends to either talk through what has been going on or get away from it all for a while by having a night out together. Talking through problems and enjoying yourself with the people who know you best will give you that little bit of comfort and understanding you need.
Make specific plans
If you are in the middle of a divorce, this is likely the first Christmas you will be having without your ex. That can be difficult in itself, especially if you have been together for many years, having lots of mutual friends and extended family ties. If you are likely to still be seeing those people and your ex is too, try to plan it so that your timings don’t collide. If you have children, this can be doubly tricky. Plan early on how you will split the time for your children. They will feel much better when they know what is happening, and so will you as it will give you time to prepare activities for them, and you. Coming up with a holiday schedule that you and your former partner agree on is an excellent starting point. Try to remain open to changes and be flexible where you can to reduce any potential acrimony.
Take time to reconnect with yourself
Christmas is a nostalgic time of year. Indulge yourself in a little bit of that Ghost of Christmas past and allow yourself to wallow in some memories, if that’s what you need to do. It’s normal to feel upset, hurt and angry following a divorce, even if you were the one who instigated it. So, don’t shy away from your feelings. This will allow you to reconnect with yourself and from here, you will be able to discover more about the new you. What you want from life now and how you will achieve your goals in the New Year.
If you can, come together for your children
Again, if you have children their feelings come first, especially at Christmas. If relations between you and their other parent are relatively sound, consider coming together for a short while on the big day to allow the children to celebrate. This isn’t for everyone but unwrapping their presents from Santa with mum and dad both there in a relaxed atmosphere, can work well in many situations. If you are planning on doing this, agree on an exact timeframe and stick to it to avoid any confusion between you both, and the children.
Conclusion
How you celebrate Christmas when going through a divorce really does depend on many things. The nature of your divorce will heavily influence what you do over the festive period. Understandably, if you have been through a particularly arduous divorce, you may not feel like pulling crackers and playing charades. If you have children, you will need to ensure water-tight planning for where they will be going and when over the holidays. This will make Christmas as straightforward as possible, and leave plenty of time for them to have fun, and for you to relax.
